Cancer Schmancer…

You won't keep me down
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Herceptin: 1 down 17 to go. Chemo: 3 down 1 to go!

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It’s been a hard week.  I had my usual, pre-chemo 3 week meeting with another oncologist this past Wednesday because my usual one was on rounds yet again.  As she was checking my body, mostly my glands and breasts she casually mentioned if I have thought having my ovaries removed.  I didn’t know what she meant, and told her that no one has yet mentioned this and asked her why would I have them removed.  She told me that since my estrogen levels were high, that it would mean I would most likely be put on Lupron (the menopause drug that lowers my estrogen) until I go naturally into menopause (I guess when I’m mid 50s?!).  We talked a little more about having children post Chemo and was told again that it is risky because it will increase my estrogen levels. She said that I can talk more about this later with my Dr. S (my actual Oncologist)

Argh.  I’m so frustrated and sad.  When I got home I researched the ovary removal and Lupron shots.  With the removal I will be fully menauposal, and it is not reversible.  So, I think I will be sticking with the Lupron.  I just HATE it when doctors drop this type of bomb, my last meeting, one doctor kept telling my that if she was me she would have the full double masectomy.  The other doctor basically told her to shut up (not in those terms) and said that we will discuss that at a later time.

Other than this, the treatment went well.  I was there from 8:15 to about 3:30pm.  It was my first Herceptin IV, and that took about 2 and a 1/2 hours because I had chest pains so the nurse turned it off for a bit, called Dr. S and gave me some drugs.  I felt better and we started again.  I’m happy that I have only 1 round left of Chemo, but sad that I have 17 more rounds of Herceptin and a month of radiation every day.  I’m feeling a bit depressed, and scared.  I’m worried about the cancer recurring, and I don’t want to be menopausal for 20 more years.  I hate these hot flashes and my mood swings!

I do understand that these drugs are saving my life, and this is much better than the alternative (death) but it is just so much to think about and it kind of freaks me out.  I guess I just need to take it one day at a time, and keep my chin up.  I have some side effects but I’m lucky compared to others that I have talked to.  I’m strong and will make it through this.  I just need more information to make the best decisions. 

3 Responses to “Herceptin: 1 down 17 to go. Chemo: 3 down 1 to go!”

  1. eRnA says:

    … overwhelming! “AARGH!” was what came to MY mind as well …. and yes, one moment at a time …

  2. Sandra Spicer says:

    What a load to drop on you, I’m glad you have strong shoulders and a wonderful support system, of course that doesn’t diminish how terrible you must be feeling. Yes, you’re lucky compared to many others, but also remember that you are allowed to vent, yell, cry and grieve as much as your soul needs to.

  3. Kanta Connie B. says:

    Life isn’t fair, my sweet niece. I so wish you didn’t have to go through all of this.

    Could you send me an email with your home address please? I have something I want to send you.

    You are so totally sensible about everything and not a bit a drama queen which I know some people become with this kind of situation. I admire you and how you are handling everything!!!!! And you WILL overcome. I feel very certain of this.

    I’m so glad you have Greg by your side. It so helps to have really close, good friends to help us through the bad times. I am blessed with wonderful friends and am very appreciative of this fact. I’m sure you ARE a good friend to many and we reap what we sow.

    Several of my friends have “adopted” you to head their prayer lists.

    On Tuesday nights, we end our Songweaver rehearsals with a healing song that we send out to all who need any kind of help. So of course you are thus being sung to by a large group of women, many of whom are breast cancer survivors. So if you feel a surge of energy about 9:00 p.m. its from all of us.

    We just had our annual “Making Strides..” 5 mile walk and it was the best ever.The turn-out was huge. I used to walk it but now I just contribute $.

    Hang in there girl.


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