Cancer Schmancer…

You won't keep me down
Breast Cancer Ribbon


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All right, this is my bitchfest spew of the week. Before this entire cancer nightmare, G and I had hour-long deep conversations about our zombie society.  We talked about religion, life after death (or no life) and how almost everybody is asleep.  We talked about how people live each day in and day out without thinking, without dreaming, without happiness, without even really seeing.  I’ve seen so many people just wake up, go to work, have dinner, watch tv, and then sleep.  Talk about autopilot. There is no excitement, no challenge, no change.  Most people don’t even remember much of their years.  YEARS!   I’ve been there.  Completely, and some days I’m still there.  I know I have to shake myself sometimes.  I have to wake myself up, because there really is a beautiful world out there, an exciting and wonderful life all around us, just waiting for us to wake up, grab it and make it our own.

Take a walk.  Look around, NO I mean really look around you.  Talk to your friends, again I mean really talk to people, just don’t exist.  LIVE.   I am sick of people complaining about their mundane lives.  Do something about it people! If you don’t like your partner, job, lifestyle, or life – change it.  Change is hard but it is what is difficult that really wakes you up and you can’t get anything you want without first doing something about it.  You have the power to change it.  No one else will do if for you and it won’t change on it own.  What if this is it?  What if there is no heaven, no afterlife.  Nothing.  You die, and than you just don’t exist anymore.  No second chances.  This is what I thought about so much before the cancer.  What if!?  Would you do anything different?  If not, GREAT!  If so, DO IT NOW!  I’m not saying to do anything drastic like sell your house and move to Zimbabwe, but seriously if that is what you want to do, find a way to do it.  Look into it and plan.  Dream away, cause life is not going to wait for you and anything can happen that will change things.  One thing that it can’t change is your dreams.

Stop looking at what you don't have and SEE and be thankful what you do have!

Stop looking at what you don't have and SEE and be thankful what you do have!

Stop wasting time people, in my eyes that’s what this ‘zombie lifestyle’ is.   Also, appreciate what you have.  People take so much for granted.  I know I took my health for granted.  I always see people take their children, their friends and their partners for granted.  Don’t, cause really those are the only thing in life that matters.  Those are the things that TRULY should make you happy.  Everything else is just fluff.  Let yourself be happy.  Really, let go and just be happy.  We all have choices, and my choice right now (even going through all this) is to be happy.  Yes I could be sad.  I have every right to be.  But should I be?  Should I hold on to that anger, that fear?  I could, but it would do nothing for me.  It would only harm me.  So… I’m choosing to be happy.

I would do anything to have a child and I really HATE that I might not be able to bare one.  Will I let this stop me from dreaming?  Hell no, if I can’t have a child naturally, can you imagine what fun, how exciting (but nerve-wracking, and overwhelming I’m sure) will be ways to have getting one?  There are so many other options, just like in every obstacle of life and I guess it is how you look at it.  There are different roads and paths for everyone, all the time.  You just have to look for them.  Take the blinders off and LIVE.

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